Sitting with my phone in my hand I followed the lyrics of Lily Allen’s new album West End Girl and felt her anger and hurt. Each word has been placed purposefully into her compositions - with the justifiable audacity to take back her power regardless of her obvious vulnerable and fragile mentality.
Unlike Taylor Swift, who retells her "beef" with her exes through metaphors and encoded lyrics meshed with perfected production and sparkly leotards - Lily didn’t hold her punches - going straight in for the kill by calling out her (now ex) husband David Harbour’s cheating in all it's graphic detail.
Lily wrote the album in 10 days - Evidence that a scorned woman “get’s shit done”. Personally I think it shows in some ways. The production and melodies are slightly unpolished - they feel a bit rough around the edges and repetitive. But I’m not slating Lily - she needed to get it out of her system and she certainly did. The fact it’s a bit of a confused mishmash of sounds perhaps is the point. perhaps this a representation of how her mind was just as bastard messy as some of the musical confusion clagged together in this album.
Spilling the Whole Mug of Tea
For those who have no idea what this album is based on, it’s basically an open diary of the demise of her 4 year marriage to David. It stars with her husband asking her to “open up” their marriage, over a trans-Atlantic phone call (I mean come on! Shitty timing right?) It’s what he wants and she wants to keep him happy, so she agrees but with caveats that his extra marital shags to be with people they don’t know, that he pays for it and that it is kept low key and discreet. It’s supposed to be just about sex, but then Lily finds the texts - the song “Madeline” actually isn’t about one women but a number of women he was in contact with. What follows is Lily discovering he actually had a “Pussy Palace” - an apartment he regularly used to have sex with women. In his seedy little "shag pad" she finds the letters from broken hearted women in a shoebox, and a whole load of sex toys and lube - evidence this was more than just the occasional need for something different.
Each track moves through the fallout - the mess, the shame, and the total loss of confidence and security that marriage should provide being snatched from her. It’s the last fucking thing any 40 year old woman needs. We are already having a shit enough time.
Fucking men.
They get the best of us - Use us in our youthful prime, get the babies, the cooked meals, the back rubs and blowjobs. Hint: the last thing we want to do after a hard day juggling work, kids, parents, housework, and navigating the bastard supermarket yet again is to have a cock in our mouth and to have to pretend we enjoy it. We only ever enjoy it on our own terms. Fact. And if you took any real notice, you would tell the difference.
Then when they have had us in our "prime" they fuck off and cheat to fulfil their needs. Fucking needs???
Lily goes on to share the typical emotional manipulation - the lack of intimacy, care and the rejection. She blames herself for not putting out enough and ageing - Shut up girl!
When a woman isn’t having sex with her husband 9 times out of 10 (unless it’s health related) this is down to the fact he stopped showing up for her. He stopped seeing her, stopped buying flowers, stopped stroking her arse irresistibly when she passed by, and stopped focusing on her pleasure only, making sex a transactional affair.
Chances are she’s asked for something to be done 10 times and it’s still not done and she's so fucking done with it all.
And the chorus comes from the hard done by man “she’s always nagging at me!” Well do the fucking job then you prick!
Honestly what do men think will happen? How is that attractive?
We rarely match our underwear on the basis of our husbands looks, it's all down to how he makes us feel - Safe, secure, sexy, beautiful, wanted and absolutely treasured. Rhianna was right we do wanna feel like "the only girl in the world". Intimacy is so much more than sex. When he fails to show up, when he doesn’t care, we stop caring too. We are too fucking tired navigating being a woman in this world, to have the energy to worry about being sex on demand ready for our men.
The other thing is, men are supposed to love the chase, the excitement of sweet talking a woman into a visit to the “Pussy Palace” - How about focusing on the challenge of getting their own wife to want to sleep with them? - Dem girls are hamburgers and they are cheap, easy and naaaasssty!
Before The Bloke's Feel Victimised...
I’ll not be sexist - same goes for the women - No man who works hard and loves his family should have to face his cheating wife shagging the plumber...unless he was happy with the call out charge.
I have no idea what people will do when we hit a short fall in tradesmen.
I jest too much - Women shouldn’t think it’s ok to cheat either. Unless you are under 21, it's never ok. Real people get hurt, it has a ripple effect across the whole family and your friends and divorce costs more than money.
Most women emotionally check out of relationships first. They rarely jump into bed with someone just for the sex. Instead they create new connections - and these turn into feelings and then affairs. It’s a slower burn, and whilst still underhand - it can be turned around before it’s too late. Men think with their todger with a "cum first - contriteness later" approach.
*Under 21’s get away with it because they are too damn young to settle down and need the life lessons.
The therapists raking it in.
Apparently Lily is in a better place - writing the album helped her heal, and she's been having therapy (of course she fucking has!), who knows maybe David is too for his sex addiction. Lily has been quoted to have said the album is not an “act of revenge”, and she feels differently now about the whole situation. He’s still a part of her daughter's life, but with the album blowing up I do wonder how long it will take for him to feel victimised. Oh boohoo! If it isn’t the consequences of your actions (AKA your butt plug) being shoved up your arse Dave.
*If my husband reads this… the answer is no… no, do you really want to test that theory? and I’d pickle your testicles and put them in a jar on display. I’m a witch, remember.
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