For a number of years I’ve found myself going through regular cycles where I shift from contentment to discontentment within my career. Anyone who knows me laughs and reassures others that I am just going through this "I'm quitting!" phase again. I'll take a break, refocus my energy on something that interests me and get over myself... until next time.
However, I’m kind of getting tired of how much negative juju this cycle causes in my life.
It’s draining, in all honesty. Every time I hit that wall of discontentment, it comes with a wave of frustration, self-doubt, and the urge to burn it all down and start over.
Instead I ride it out finding something new to obsess over, which makes me feel re-energised, and the cycle resets.
However, I've come to the conclusion that these phases are trying to tell me something.
Perhaps it’s not about finding the perfect job or continuing to hold out in the hope that suddenly I get the break I've been waiting in the wings for. Maybe it’s about acknowledging that I need (and deserve) growth, variety, and opportunities in my work and career —and being stuck or grounded is actually a huge red flag trying to get my attention.
So this time I really need to take this period of discontentment more seriously and start asking myself some hard hitting questions.
"Am I moving forward, or just moving?”
It’s easy to stay busy, keep my head down, smile and remain helpful, but progress and purpose consistently remain as background noise. And rightfully so.
I didn't come this far, to ONLY come this far.
For me, professional development has to become about aligning my skills, knowledge and natural abilities with the direction I want to move towards... and that is creating something of my own.
I have realised that my professional toxic traits have been failing to believe in myself and fearing letting my talents shine out of fear of failing, embarrassing myself or being rejected.
Perhaps in the past my undiagnosed and untreated ADHD and my own trauma held me back, however I know I am way more capable and ambitious than I show the world.
So to answer that question, the truth is I am moving but it’s like rowing a boat with the anchor down. Despite the effort I'm just going around in circles.
I’m rowing hard, showing I can put the effort in, but the anchor keeps me stuck in the same spot. I need help lifting the anchor so I can actually move forward, not just exhaust myself in place.
The problem is I've been rowing for far too long, and in this lake there is nobody willing to help me pull up that anchor. I'm starting to wonder if taking a risk by jumping overboard is what I really need.
It feels like I've waited long enough and nobody is coming to save me. I've shown progress, I've put in the work and I've most definitely proven my dedication and loyalty.
The more I release my authentic self, the more I am preparing to jump overboard, swim away and accept I wasn't meant to thrive in the Lake... I'm a mountain kinda girl.
Progress, With Purpose
The truth is, I want my career to feel meaningful and sustainable, not just bearable. I want progress that feels aligned with who I am and what I truely believe in.
So as I work on my professional development for the foreseeable future, I’m focusing on:
🧱Building skills, knowledge and experience that allow me to grow away from my current role.
🙋♀️ Saying yes to, or creating opportunities that scare me a little to push my out of my comfort zone
⚠️ Getting comfortable with taking managed risks.
💗 Checking in with myself regularly before the burnout cycle starts - Implementing my own wellbeing plan.
📝 Setting myself some time to reflect on what it is I want, and what my next steps need to be.
🏆 Reminding myself that it’s okay to want more and there is nothing wrong with making it happen.
Thoughts for you
If you also find yourself cycling through these moments of “What am I even doing with my life?”, you’re not alone. It doesn’t make you flaky; it probably means you care, and you’re ready for your next layer of growth.
Progress with purpose doesn’t require you to have everything figured out. It just means you’re willing to listen to yourself and keep moving in a direction that feels true to you.
It also doesn't mean you have to take risks with your career or your income, especially in this financial climate. There are ways to improve skills, knowledge and experience all around that you can access in your own time.
What I have realised is, that in reality I don’t need to wait for permission or the perfect time to seek growth. Nor should my hunger for change be labelled as a phase or a crisis. It’s just part of who I am—someone who cares, someone who wants to grow, and someone ready to explore and plan getting off that bloody boat and diving head first into progress and purpose!
Fergs 🖤
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